4/16/09
I'm Tired
OK, I'm ready for my husband to be home! I'm afraid the lack of sleep is starting to catch up with me. It's accumulated over almost 5 weeks and I'm starting to lose it. Most importantly I'm feeling like a bad mom to the boys. I hate it when I feel that way! It's my own personal fear that I'm going to royally mess them up and they'll turn out to be drug dealing murderers! I know some of you have these same anxieties!! Fess up! LOL
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4 comments:
Interesting that I am reading your blog at this time of day. I was just saying to noone in particular (and my 9 yr old son overheard)"I am such a bad MOM!" Blessedly, he refuted that and told me that I was a great Mom and that I explain things really well to them. (I had just gotten through disciplining my 6 yr old son for lying about a constant problem in our bathrooms). Oh, the joy of boys! As long as they get their daily allotment of hugs and kisses and kind/understanding words, they can usually forgive all of our missteps. Although, along they way they'll run us ragged! :)
Jenn!
That is exactly what I'm saying. Then on top of that be sleep deprived and dealing with infant colic on your own for two hours a night. It's to easy to believe you're a bad mom. :-) Life...
Oh Buffy
I totally know how you feel. I have felt like a single mom pretty much my whole married life. Don has always had a job that required him to be gone alot or travel. I remember the days at BYU when he was working two jobs and going to school full time and I only had one at the time. But he was colicky and rarely slept. I thought I was going to go crazy. I knew NO ONE. We had just moved there and I was a wreck. SO now fast forward about 12 years and we have five and as you can imagine it is pure chaos sometimes. And I am still up at night and losing sleep and I get angry with the kids and yell and feel terrible. I have a HUGE issue also that my kids will turn out horrible all because OF ME. I know it is hard for you right now. It is hard to figure out how to balance another child and still find the time to spend with your boys. It isn't easy. And losing sleep makes a momma turn into a bear. Hang in there. Smile at the boys and tell them how much your love them and then go listen to Hilary Week's song called "If I Only Had Today". Maybe there is someone in your ward that could come take the baby for a bit while you get some sleep? I wish I was closer so you could get some rest.
I love being able to look at updates and pictures, it helps when I am so far away.
Buffy, as already stated, love your kids, they will be fine - just look how well you turned out.
Love Mom
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